Parking Wars

Dear DC,

I can't say that this city has been kind to us in terms of bringing our car. It's like our car is a foreign body in the city's immune system and it is trying to reject our car...there have been many obstacles. The least of our problems has not been parking the dang thing.

Let's clear this up right up front....I have the utmost respect for parking authority officers. They have a crappy job that make them the most hated people in the city (well in DC that would be the politicians, so...2nd most hated). I sure would respect them a whole lot more if they LEFT ME THE HELL ALONE! Ok, I've recomposed myself and can now continue.

First, all of the parking here is parallel parking. Seeing as I don't drive the car when I'm in it anyways (everyone who knows me knows that I HATE driving and make Kyle do it all the time, but that's another story) this shouldn't bother me that much. It doesn't bother me until I start looking around at everyone else's dings and scrapes on their nice cars and realize that we aren't the only ones who totally suck at parking parallel. That's probably the scariest part...worrying about everyone else trying to fit in that too small spot right in front of our car.

So when we came home last Sunday and found an open parking spot on our street with plenty of room on both sides we snatched it right away.

We had parked unbeknown to us in a handicapped parking spot. Yes, even with parallel parking there are still handicapped "stalls". This one happened to be randomly placed right in the middle of the street and it also happened to cost us $250. Extortion is my cry!

Of course the very next day we also got a $30 parking ticket for parking longer than 2 hours without a permit because we couldn't find big enough scissors to cut through the enormous amount of red tape it takes to get anything done in this inefficient ineffective government that is DC to actually register our car in a timely manner. Figures.

So far our $250 ticket hasn't shown up in the payment system because it was a handwritten ticket. I am just crossing my fingers that it never shows up! It is doesn't, then thank you inefficient ineffective government that is DC! God bless.

With love,

Julia

DC Loves Me! She Really Loves Me!

Dear DC,

Ok, it's official and everyone can celebrate! I HAVE A JOB! And it's a good job too! No longer will I stay up to 2 and sleep in till 10. No longer will I spend an entire day without leaving the home. No longer will.....well you get the idea and I've embarrassed myself enough.

My new water cooler will be located at a lobbying firm. I will be an associate there for two different issue areas, health and tax. An associate is basically the bottom of the totem pole in terms of lobbying and account service but boy will I work my way up!

AND my first day in Monday!

So here's the really exciting part. Kyle and I had a little contest as to who would get a job first and the winner would get to buy some extreme luxury item of their choice. His, Xbox 360....mine, designer shoes! I told the partners this and they thought it was hoot (female-owned firm). I think it's none too convenient that I got a signing bonus for about the amount that a beautiful pair of designer shoes costs!

So watch out boys. Watch out Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Stuart Weitzman, Cole Haan, here I come armed and ready to buy!

I'll post my plunder later and oh what a sight that will be.

And for those who think it's irresponsible of me to spend cold hard cash on something extravagant and silly like this when my husband still doesn't have a job and the cost of living here is out of this world....to those who say that....I say....talk to the shoe!

With Shoe Love,

Julia

Identity Crisis #2

Dear DC,

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to spend a day as the opposite sex? I have, and today was my opportunity. However, it wasn't for a whole day, just for a short hour and it wasn't by choice. This morning in our ongoing struggle to have our car registered in DC, we went to the DMV (again) and got our driver's licenses. My picture wasn't perfect, but I don't really care. My address, birthday, and weight (unfortunately) were all correct. It wasn't until an hour later, while sitting in the other DMV (a story for another post), that I discovered the mistake.

No wonder the moment I put the license into my wallet that I felt the sudden urge to brush my hair! No wonder I started to notice all the shoes in the shops as we walked! No wonder that despite my deep hunger, I ordered a salad anyways! The reason behind my wonderment was clear. There it was. On that small plastic card. Right under the words "Sex", there it was. A big, clear, fat, F.

For one hour, for longer than I would ever like to experience again, I was a registered female in Washington DC. The thought came to me, because I was so frustrated with all the other DMV challenges we have had, that I should just leave it and that it didn't matter. But then I had flashes to future difficult situations. What if I get pulled over? What if I want to get on an airplane? What if someone asks me to prove that I am actually a male? These daunting situations pursuaded me to rush to the counter, and plead for a sex change....on my license. Minutes later I was handed a new license, with the familiar constanant, M. Oh, good to have you back M! Please, don't ever leave me again!

Well, I can only hope that there will be no more future mishaps with my identity. DC, thanks for messing with my life. How about instead of finding ways to mess with me, you find me a job instead.

With love,

Kyle
A man.
I promise.

Who Am I?

Dear DC,

This is my first post here. Julia and I decided to share this blog together, so let me apologize in advance to those who are not accustomed to my inappropriate humor. For some, you may be asking, who am I? That is a great question. In fact, the last few weeks I'm not so sure either. And for that we can all thank the Washington DC Department of Motor Vehicles. Let me say that moving across country, as big of a challenge as it was, it was very smooth with very little trouble. However, all that changed once I tried to register our car in DC.

Feeling very confident standing in line, having checked, rechecked, and triple checked to make sure that I had all the proper forms and identification in order to get a new drivers license and register our car, my confidence was crumbled when it became apparent that my identity was in question. After handing my documents, including social security card and passport over to the DMV clerk, he quickly noticed that the name on my social security card did not match the name on my other documents. My drivers license and passport both showed me as R____ Kyle J_____, but my SS card showed me as merely Kyle J____. The clerk informed me that my SS card needed to match everything else, and with a different name on it they cannot confirm who I am and I would not be able to register my car. Blast!!

After waiting in the DMV for another hour to see a "special clerk" to see if I could convince them that I am both Kyle and R____ all at the same time, I was asked the all important question from a lady who obviously doesn't enjoy her job.

-"Boy, why does your SS card have a different name on it?

-"I dont know," was my reply. "I suppose my parents thought that life didn't pose enough challenges on its own."

She didn't like my joke...not even a grin. Apparently that wasnt a good enough excuse to allow me to use my current SS card and I was told to go to the social security administration and get a new card with my correct full name on it. Sigh.....

I think the type of people that you see in the SSA office is a good topic for another post. Lets just say that they are not normal. And by not normal, I mean they are quite possibly insane. But to wrap up my challenges of identity, today in the mail arrived my new SS card with, (drum roll) My real full name!! Aah, finally I have an identity back! It feels great to be fully R____ Kyle J____ now.

So DC, I'm not sure why your DMV is the only instution, person, or government that has ever questioned my identity in my 27 years, but thanks for the ride. Lets not do that again. And to all you parents out there....please don't change your childs name on their social security just because they are confused in kindergarten why their teacher keeps calling them by their dad's name. It will eventually cause a mess down the road.

With Love,

Kyle...I mean R____....no, wait, its Kyle.

The Inauguration Pt. 2

Dear DC,

While I don't have any amazing pictures of the inauguration itself, I have the next best thing.....pictures of the jumbo screen!!!!


Here you can see where the stage would be if that tree wasn't in the way.I've already touched on how cold it was.....but let me reiterate. IT WAS COLD! Kyle was so cold he got hives up and down his legs and back. Some capitalist gentlemen not in line went to Starbucks at about 6:30am and brought back a dozen or so black coffees (cost about $1.50) selling them for $5 a piece. They no doubt could have gotten $10 each if they felt like extorting the Obama faithful. There was also a lady who had a box full of hand and toe warmers coming around at 5:00am selling those $0.50 packages for $5 each. There is a buyer at every price. I scoffed at the woman next to me who bought 5 of them. About two hours later I was wishing that I had purchased a few myself....brrrrr! I think I might have even paid double that for a little heat!!!!

Along with seeing the political celebrities (I swooned at every Senator who walked out onto the stage), we saw some Hollywood stars there as well. At one point I was 10 ft away from Bruce Springsteen and Chris Tucker (not at the same time). I'm not one of those papparazzi-esque people calling out their names non-stop to get them to look that way for a picture so I don't have any pcitures...you'll just have to take my word for it.

In summary, despite the cold, the crowds, the woman in front of me who refused to stop dancing to the music and thus shaking her butt into my abdomen, and the guy behind us who had a comment for every single person who was shown on the jumbo screen (even if he didn't know who they were, we heard all about it) - in spite of all these things, the experience was worth it.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to watch the inauguration on the Internet to see what I attended!

With love,

Julia

The Inauguration

Dear DC,

Long lines, huge crowds, confused tourists, inaugural parties....DC you have been busy.

Ok, I know that my reader(s) are just dying to know....how was the inauguration?

In short it was cold, long and AWESOME!

I don't need to talk about how historic it was and blah blah blah.....you already know that. I also don't need to talk about Michelle Obama's awesome ensemble, you saw the pictures.

What was unique about being there was how infectious the energy of the crowd felt. There was a guy with a video camera standing close to me that was interviewing people about their feelings about the inauguration and why they were there. It was cool to hear all the different stories and why they wanted to be there in person.

I was on the Capitol lawn but I couldn't actually see the people...there was a conveniently placed tree blocking any view of the President I would have hope to have.

More details and pics to come!

With love,

Julia

Concert to Stand For

Dear DC,

Thanks for the historic day!

For all those who missed the "We Are One" Obama Inauguration Celebration concert today (broadcast on HBO), you missed out! I saw it.....twice. Once live, standing in the cold, and once at home on HBO.com to see what really happened.

First of all, it is exhilarating to be a part of something so big with such a large crowd. To be there to celebrate change in the country alongside 250,000 some odd people was an honor.

But boy did my feet ACHE! We walked to the Lincoln Memorial from our apartment which is oh, only about 3.5 miles. That's not too bad except for the fact that once we got there the last 0.5 miles took about an hour to get through because of the security and throngs of people.

Thank goodness it was 35 degrees (warmer than yesterday) so it wasn't so painfully cold. Bundled up (and we were), it was actually quite pleasant.

My problem is that I'm an optimist and a futurist. I'm always thinking that what is in front of me will be better than where I am at now. So when Kyle finds a perfectly good spot to put down a blanket and sit for a while, I protest, convinced that for some reason someone at the front saved a spot just for lil' ol' me. I donated money to Obama's campaign and made phone calls on his behalf....I deserve that spot at the front right? Well, everyone else had the same idea (and feeling
of deservedness) so I ended up in a crowd stopped about 100 ft from the front.

Not bad, except for the fact that this 5' 3" girl was stuck staring directly at the back of a red and black coat covered in 2 inch grey hair from the molting 6' 5" middle-aged man directly in front of me. Mr. Red Giant was flanked by a 6' 2" college student studying in Ithica (but originally from Arizona) and a 5' 11" woman in a red parka which advertised that she had been to Antarctica in 2002. I got to know those neighbors very well while overhearing their conversations for the following 2 hours waiting for the concert the begin. And once it did begin, I got to know them even better as my body was pressed into theirs while everyone struggled for a view of the action. My view?....the red and black coat.

So, I stepped on my tippy toes to catch glimpses of the two jumbo screens in front of us from time to time and jumped up and down in the crowd in hopes of actually seeing the actual celebrity performing - who were 1 inch tall from my perspective. Shame on Mary J. Blige for wearing all white because she blended right into the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. The only way I actually saw her was the contrast from her bad blonde dye job against the ivory steps.

But all the walking and 5 hours of standing in place (worse than walking for 5 hours straight) was worth it when about an hour and a half into the concert the ring of The Edge's guitar rang out and Bono opened his magnificent mouth to peal out the words "Let Freedom Ring!" before starting into the first verse of "Pride (In the Name of Love)" and setting my heart aflutter and a slapping a permanent grin on my face. U2 was bestowed the time to play two full songs so they finished up with "City of Blinding Lights" and a political statement on how Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream is not just the American dream but also the Irish dream, the European dream, the African dream, the Israeli dream and even the Palestinian dream (GO BONO!).

There is only one man that could follow the amazing spectacle that is U2, and that man is of course the next president of the United States, Barack Obama himself!!! And I saw him. That's right....be jealous. You can see him in the picture below.....can't see him? It's like Where's Waldo.....look for the white podium just to the left of the big screen. That black coat? Yup, that's Obama's coat.



Don't worry...it was worth it! And I will do it all over again on Tuesday when we go to the Inauguration!!

Thanks DC!

With Love,

Julia

Brrrrrr, It's Cold Out Here!

Dear DC,

So little did I know that YOU ARE SOOOOO COLD!! It's beyond freezing here. Nothing like what I hear it is in Minnesota but this definitely rivals my childhood in Canada. Plus, I didn't walk everywhere in Canada like I do here.

DC, you tricked me! It wasn't this cold when I lived out here two years ago. Why the bait and switch? As I walked to the library this morning (only five blocks away but it's not very big - I got very very spoiled living just one block from the amazing Salt Lake main branch!) any uncovered skin started screaming at me in pain because of the extreme temperatures. Anyone who wants a real extreme sport? Do it in 10 degree weather naked! Now that's extreme.

Luckily, my apartment has utilities included in rent so I can crank the heat and not shiver under blankets. I just hope it warms up before I-Day (t-minus 3 days) so I don't come away with a historic case of hypothermia standing outside waiting to catch a glimpse of our new president.

With Love,

Julia

Farewell, Hello!

Dear DC,

It is one day until I come back to you for good! I leave Utah one last time as a resident. I leave my friends, my job, my husband's family. It's hard. As much as I am NOT a Utah girl, it has become my home over the past six years.

Six years is a long time and feels forever ago. Just think, six years ago:

• iPods were fatty little players that didn't make phone calls - useless!
  
• We still thought that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
  
• SARS was spreading across Asia and justifying germaphobes everywhere.
• Martha Stewart was under house arrest.
• Jean Chretien resigned as Canadian Prime Minister (a nod to my home and native land!)
• Space Shuttle Columbia crashed killing all crew members.
• Britney Spears didn't have any stretch marks and still wore underwear.

Point is, six years has brought a lot of change and a lot of memories of which Utah has played a big part. I had my first kiss here, lived abroad with a group from Utah, met my husband and got married here, graduated from college here, got my first real job here, bought my first car here, gained and lost and gained 50+ lbs here and most importantly made a lot of fantastic friends in the journey.

Farewell Utah. You were good to me and I to you and now we part ways.

Hello dear DC. You are my new home for a new life.

With love,

Julia