I should do this--oh well

Dear DC,

I should really learn to trust my instincts.

For example, yesterday I set out to Home Depot to buy blinds for the back door, and a basket hanging thing for the bathroom. As I was gathering my keys and other items, I thought to myself that I would look at the size on the last box of blinds I bought for the front door, thinking that I would need the same size for the back. Of course the thought also came to me to break out the measuring tape and make sure the back door is the same size. Of course...I ignored that thought and bounded out the door.

Going to Home Depot is a bit of a struggle. The road that leads into the depot is curvy and always full of traffic, making it a bit annoying. Add to that, that it's Home Depot I'm going to and so there are a few certain people standing in various parts of the parking lot waving at you to hire them for the day. And by a few people, what I mean is you kind of feel like you are the grand marshal of parade with all the people standing on the sides of the street waving at you. This is also annoying because some of them feel its okay to take their sweet time walking across the parking lot right in front of you.

Anyways, back to the original point. I buy my blinds, and basket thing for the bathroom, weave my way through the parking lot and waving fans, and arrive home only to find that: 1, the blinds were too big for the back door, and 2, the basket for the bathroom is far too big to hang on the wall. Great....why didn't I measure it before! So it was back to the car, on the road, up the windy street with the waving fans wanting work, and to the return counter. Blast! But in the end, I got the right size of blinds and a smaller basket. So all is good.

Of course my lack of instinct trusting didn't end there. This morning I drove Julia to work. On my way home after dropping her off, I should have trusted my instincts to lock the car doors while I was driving. At the corner of New York Ave and H St, a man approached the car. One might think he was homeless, or just allergic to clean clothes. He tapped on the passenger window, saying "come on man, let me in." Of course my cat like reflexes went for the door lock before he could try the handle, which he did. Again he asked me to let him in, but luckily the light had turned green and I was speeding away. Maybe he just wanted to clean my windshield for some cash....from the inside...

With instinctive love,

Kyle

Riding On the Bus

Dear DC,

Riding the bus in DC is a unique opportunity to experience the local habitat. Let me quote a guy Kyle heard singing on the bus the last (and only) time he rode:

Riding on the bus,
Sitting next to bums
Hope that isn't pee
On the seat that's next to me

I think that about sums up bus riding in the Washington Metro area, both the lyrics and the fact the some guy is randomly singing out loud on the bus (not begging for money).

But to drive my point home, I wish to relate the experience I had today on my way home from work. I take the bus to and from work every day. It's quite quick, inexpensive and best of all under ideal conditions I get to read my book and sit down.

Today I was able to sit down as I pick up the bus at the beginning of the line but the bus line is so popular that it quickly fills up. Today was no exception and passenger after passenger kept pouring onto the bus. This usually wouldn't cause me strife as I already had my seat but it was the type of people that were coming on that made my ride one for the blog!

A group of three young flamboyant and most importantly very loud and obnoxious boys decided that "inside voices" didn't apply on the bus and that everyone wanted to hear their conversation about how crowded the bus was. The bus driver continually asked them to move back so more passengers could get on the bus to which they replied (almost in unison), "Nuh uh cutie, there is no more room."

I didn't bat an eye and kept my nose in my book.

As people got off the bus and more people moved back to where I was standing, I found myself surrounded by these boys, squawking right into my ear.

I didn't bat an eye and kept my nose in my book.

Then another woman complained loudly and rather profanely about how crowded the bus is. There were no people right around her and with good reason. She was obviously very intoxicated (especially for 5:30pm) and smelled like she had been intoxicated for quite sometime, had thrown up on herself three days ago and hasn't showered since. Seriously....it was a breathe through the mouth moment (if you even dared that)!

Well another passenger, whom I am sure fancies herself a hero and defender of all things good, pipes up and tells drunk woman to watch her language on the bus and to have some respect for people around her. I silently cheered her until she continued.

Hero woman started off on drunk woman and commented on how drunk the drunk woman was. She said that her state was despicable.

Well this understandably angered drunk woman who told hero woman that she should mind her own business and that she wasn't talking to her anyways.

I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the back of the seat in front of me.

Well of course the obnoxious boys are monitoring this situation with what seemed to them to be an appropriate amount of commentary such as, "You tell her girl" and "Boy is she a mess!" accompanied by cackling and laughing.

Hero woman goes on to insult drunk woman as a parent and bemoans for her children. Drunk woman then retorts that she will kick hero woman's ass (which elicits the expected 'OooooHHHHH, kick her ass" from the obnoxious boys).

Keep in mind that this is happening in a small crowded bus less than half a foot away from my head.

I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the back of the seat in front of me.

Exchanges go back and forth about whose husband is stronger (remind you of recess?) as well as speculations from the obnoxious guys on who would win in a fight.

At this point I am a couple stops away from my house and I have had enough. I yank on the cord to request the next stop, grab my bag and head for the back door as fast as I can.

I don't care that I have to walk a few extra blocks.....I didn't want to get in the middle of that!

I'm sure that won't be the only experience I will have. Just wait until it's the end of the day on a hot summer evening on an equally crowded bus with people already pre-disposed to smelling rank. Take a deep breath in.....and out.......

With Bus Love,

Julia

I will not get addicted to crack!

This week I became an official DC-ite and was given my company-issued BlackBerry. Wahoo! Hooray!

However, I pledge to everyone (ok, the one person) who reads this blog that I will not get addicted to the CrackBerry. I will not. I'm just not that type of person.

Can you picture me typing with my thumbs on that tiny keyboard? Typing accurately on that thing is a nightmare and I'm much too much of a perfectionist and have too little patience for it!

Ok, so yes it is cool that I can check my work and personal email wherever I am. However, I don't know if you know this - but I'm just not cool or important enough to get an email that is so urgent it can't wait until I get home or until I get to work. If there is something, they can call my cell phone. I just don't see the need for yet another device that I have to keep track of.

Don't get me wrong. I am not going to toss it back to the office manager like a hot potato. I'll keep it. It's a rite of passage. I'm just not going to use it....much....outside of work hours....but maybe a little on weekends.....and on the bus ride home.....

I WILL NOT GET ADDICTED!

With BB love,

Julia

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Dear DC,

You may not know this, but there are some significant differences between DC and Utah. Some obvious and some not-so-much.

1. There is a church on every other corner, but it's not a LDS church! Churches are everywhere and of every denomination! Some of the most "original" that I have seen include (forgive me if I offend anyone...I am not poking fun at these churches, just pointing out how different these churches are from the one(s) in Utah):

• Arabic Baptist Church of Washington (how shocking!)
  
• Perfection of the Saints (I'm glad someone has figured perfection out)
  
• Beginning Church (after a few years you get to go to Intermediate Church across the street)
• Church of Chris (either the "t" fell off or Chris is a really cool guy)

2. No one apologizes if they swear around me at work like they did at my last job. F?#@ that!

3. I am an official racial minority as part of the 36% Caucasian population.

4. When it snows here the whole city shuts down and people complain when the schools are still open. When it snows in Utah you are still expected to show up for work on time and parents complain if their children aren't let out for recess!

5. Sunday is the busiest day at the grocery store with lines 10 people deep compared to the virtual ghost town in Utah grocery stores on Sundays.

Oh the quirks of living in "the real world." I LOVE IT!

With Minority Love,

Julia

Eat Me

Dear DC,

Let me share with you something that has been in my head since half of the city streets were lined with port-a-potties. One company in particular had a great tag line. "#1 in the #2 business". Classic.

So, I have discovered something incredible today. Or, at least I have rediscovered something today. Peanut butter and celery. Who Knew?! This stuff is amazing! There I was, being the unrecognized, undiscovered profession chef that I am, cutting up celery for my world famous chicken chowder. Feeling very snackish and knowing that Julia wasn't yet to be due home. I thought to myself, "self, what do you have to snack on." Myself came back with the idea of celery and the fresh jar of peanut butter. "But no," I thought to myself. "I hate that stuff. That's what mom would put in my lunch bag back in elementary school when there wasn't any real snacks in the house." But, I got up the courage, and put a large smear of peanut butter on my celery, hoping that with enough peanut butter the true taste of celery would be hidden from my nervous taste buds.

Oh...my...gosh. This...is...fantastic! Where have you been all my life? I chomped that first piece down, and before I had the last bite swallowed, I was already cutting off the next piece and lathering it up with creamy peanut butter. The taste was insatiable. Time and space were lost to me. As I came out of my dazed and confused state, I realized that I had eaten 3 full stocks of celery, and half the jar of peanut butter, and had a wonderful peanut butter mustache.

I dont know what was awakened in me, or what about that taste that would have made me stick out my tongue as a child. But I am hooked now.

Thanks DC.
With creamy crunchy love

Kyle