Riding On the Bus

Dear DC,

Riding the bus in DC is a unique opportunity to experience the local habitat. Let me quote a guy Kyle heard singing on the bus the last (and only) time he rode:

Riding on the bus,
Sitting next to bums
Hope that isn't pee
On the seat that's next to me

I think that about sums up bus riding in the Washington Metro area, both the lyrics and the fact the some guy is randomly singing out loud on the bus (not begging for money).

But to drive my point home, I wish to relate the experience I had today on my way home from work. I take the bus to and from work every day. It's quite quick, inexpensive and best of all under ideal conditions I get to read my book and sit down.

Today I was able to sit down as I pick up the bus at the beginning of the line but the bus line is so popular that it quickly fills up. Today was no exception and passenger after passenger kept pouring onto the bus. This usually wouldn't cause me strife as I already had my seat but it was the type of people that were coming on that made my ride one for the blog!

A group of three young flamboyant and most importantly very loud and obnoxious boys decided that "inside voices" didn't apply on the bus and that everyone wanted to hear their conversation about how crowded the bus was. The bus driver continually asked them to move back so more passengers could get on the bus to which they replied (almost in unison), "Nuh uh cutie, there is no more room."

I didn't bat an eye and kept my nose in my book.

As people got off the bus and more people moved back to where I was standing, I found myself surrounded by these boys, squawking right into my ear.

I didn't bat an eye and kept my nose in my book.

Then another woman complained loudly and rather profanely about how crowded the bus is. There were no people right around her and with good reason. She was obviously very intoxicated (especially for 5:30pm) and smelled like she had been intoxicated for quite sometime, had thrown up on herself three days ago and hasn't showered since. Seriously....it was a breathe through the mouth moment (if you even dared that)!

Well another passenger, whom I am sure fancies herself a hero and defender of all things good, pipes up and tells drunk woman to watch her language on the bus and to have some respect for people around her. I silently cheered her until she continued.

Hero woman started off on drunk woman and commented on how drunk the drunk woman was. She said that her state was despicable.

Well this understandably angered drunk woman who told hero woman that she should mind her own business and that she wasn't talking to her anyways.

I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the back of the seat in front of me.

Well of course the obnoxious boys are monitoring this situation with what seemed to them to be an appropriate amount of commentary such as, "You tell her girl" and "Boy is she a mess!" accompanied by cackling and laughing.

Hero woman goes on to insult drunk woman as a parent and bemoans for her children. Drunk woman then retorts that she will kick hero woman's ass (which elicits the expected 'OooooHHHHH, kick her ass" from the obnoxious boys).

Keep in mind that this is happening in a small crowded bus less than half a foot away from my head.

I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the back of the seat in front of me.

Exchanges go back and forth about whose husband is stronger (remind you of recess?) as well as speculations from the obnoxious guys on who would win in a fight.

At this point I am a couple stops away from my house and I have had enough. I yank on the cord to request the next stop, grab my bag and head for the back door as fast as I can.

I don't care that I have to walk a few extra blocks.....I didn't want to get in the middle of that!

I'm sure that won't be the only experience I will have. Just wait until it's the end of the day on a hot summer evening on an equally crowded bus with people already pre-disposed to smelling rank. Take a deep breath in.....and out.......

With Bus Love,

Julia